I love positive people, their optimism, their fluttery bright and light attitudes that float to the very top.
That is not me though. I’m a worst case scenario chick, so that’s what I plan for. Like in high school, I was like “I’m not having sex anytime soon”. Best case scenario is it doesn’t hurt, I don’t get HIV and I vaguely regret this guy when I’m living my best life after college. Worst case scenario is I get pregnant and some dude abandons me and the child he sired trapped at my momma’s house FOREVER (with a crotch that simultaneously itches and burns). Father-Gawd knows I did not want to be trapped at my mommas house with no foreseeable exit and no health insurance when I was a teenager.
I like to ponder and prioritize my most challenging goals and steel my mind and hone my skills for the worst that could happen (while praying for the best). So at the close of one year and while plotting for the next, I like to ponder all of my growth opportunities, behaviors or beliefs that really need to be left behind. All the things I can control that may be preventing me from living my best life in the near and far futures. A little self-sabotage, a little self-loathing, a lot of extra calorie consumption, a ton of time wasting, not enough time spent reading the Bible, too much time spent side-eyeing shady Christians, even more busy work with minimal ROI. Because when I consider my 1 year and 5 year goals, those personal, emotional or mental flaws that I can control may dictate if I can achieve them or if I can find joy and peace in the outcomes either way.
What did you say?