The Empty Pursuit of Having it All

The Atlantic posted one of the more interesting articles on the working mom effigy of doom coined: “Women Can’t Have it All”.

Why PepsiCo CEO Indra K. Nooyi Can’t Have It All, was a more engaging narrative in a long redundant series because it was honest and fairly personal. Indra K. Nooyi’s life seems surreal, she leads a multinational multi-zillon dollar organization and for most, this professional title alone would warrant endless interviews about her talent and work ethic. But, Indra has a vagina and she dared to marry and spew forth life whilst having intense ambition.

No matter the professional success, my mother, like Indra’s, is more concerned with what is stocked in my pantry for her precious grandchildren to eat.

I can have the best seasons of marital bliss and over the course of a few days, weeks or months of distraction, the husband would be crying out for change.

I don’t want to live a life filled with regret when I have been blessed with numerous opportunities to take risks and pursue a variety of desires which included marriage, children, career, travel, and artistry. In each category I have had ups and downs, but for me, having it all did not mean perfection or super human achievement in all fields of endeavor simultaneously!

What is having it all? Why do we define our success by it? I know women on all sides of the work, family, marriage, and wealth spectrum. Ask them and most will state they are struggling in some regard. This “not having it all” pity party is a first world problem. On a planet where women are bought, sold, raped, limited and discarded by the millions, complaining about not being able to live a Pinterest executed life while maintaining a 7-figure C-Suite job in the midst of a sustaining a fairytale life with Prince Charming just doesn’t make sense.

The pursuit of having it all somehow encourages us to focus on what we haven’t achieved and neglect to appreciate and celebrate what we have.